This morning, we went to Sunday school for the first time in my adult life. The subject was the Ten Commandments.One of the young men was asking about the Ten Commandments and how they represented an agreement with God. As a lawyer, I started to explain the nature of agreements and what is needed for an agreement to be binding under the law. You need at least 2 parties, consideration and a description of the terms.
Later in our lesson, our lesson book began a conversation about Prenuptial Agreements which I found very interesting. There was a paragraph in the book that said that if people do not enter prenuptial agreements that when one of the couple dies, that their assets may be divided up by the state.
This paragraph gave the impression that a Prenuptial Agreement is the only was to legally declare the disposition of your assets, but that is not true. Long before prenuptial agreements and even today, we have wills. A properly written and executed will can properly manage your estate and affairs after death.
That said, I found a new appreciation for prenuptual agreements. One of the other students asked the question, when do you enter this agreement? And the rest of the class answered, "Before you get married ... hence ... PRE ... nuptial." Then, we enterred into an emotion-filled discussion about whether people who are truly in love should enter into these types of legally binding agreements.
I thought about that for a while and finally stated with a new conviction, "I think that ALL couples should have a prenuptial agreement." My new understanding of the term is that this is an agreement that states the understanding of both parties as to what to expect in the relationship.
For almost three years now, LaDonna and I have had conversations about our expectations about our relationship, our friendship, our spirituality, our home life, our faithfulness, our finances and our plans for children and child-rearing. We both believe that it is important to be in agreement about these different issues in your current and future relationship before you go much further.
We think that the mistake that most people make is that they rush into relationships out of lust, love or romance and do not take the valuable time to discuss these important issues.
So, my new philosophy is that communication is key and that the prenuptial agreement - whether written or verbal - is a key component of any long-lasting marital relationship.
Thank God that we continue to learn and grow and expand our philosophies, attitudes and disciplines.
