I've got an interesting story about success.
At the age of 8 years old, everyone around me started telling me, "You're so smart, you can be a doctor or a lawyer." Well, I didn't know much else because in Bloomfield Hills most of the wealthiest people were doctors and laywers. Matter of fact, in the Black community that was true. So, I made a choice, "I want to be a lawyer".
Now, if you've read my earlier posts, you know that I started programming computers when I was 6 years old. People find that hard to believe but ask around. People that knew me when I was a child will tell you that I was always tinkering around with my computer and creating.
Programming was always a hobby for me and quite frankly it's where my epiphanies started. I should revisit VISION and the importance of technology here because its important.
I grew up watching a LOT of tv. Surprised? I used to brag that 70% of what I know, I learned from TV. Now, the tv shows that I used to watch were shows like: The Love Boat, Fantasy Island, Good Times, The Jeffersons, etc.
But, some of my favorites were The Love Boat, Fantasy Island and Magnum P.I. I used to lay in bed and imagine myself on the Love Boat or Fantasy Island. I used to be able to clearly visualize myself in these situations. I would visualize myself riding around Waikiki in a Ferrari 308GTS and solving crimes!
I say this to say that what watching TV did for me was help me to change my context (or my reality). I was able to imagine different realities that were incredibly different from my own. I was also able to imagine what I would look like, feel like, act like in that reality. I think that was a powerful force of tv in the 80's.
Now, I believe that the internet has the same transforming power. It has the power to give an inner city poor school child a Harvard education or transport them to other countries and realities for free! That's impressive.
I always loved to program computers because I imagined a future where computers were part of everything. It didn't hurt that I watched shows like Star Trek, Lost in Space, Buck Rogers and Battlestar Gallactica!
Anyways, from the age of 8 (when I decided to be a lawyer) until 1999, I did everything that someone who wanted to be a lawyer was supposed to do - in school. I took every law-related or political science class. I was very passionate about being a lawyer - VERY.
In high school, we used to be riding around in the back of our friend's van drinking wine coolers and they would be like, "Sean, what's the 4th Amendment? What's the 8th Amendment?!" And, when I answered them, one of them was like, "Dang, Sean, you the 'Judge'!" Then, several people started calling me "Judge" and I even went as far as to wear a scales of justice on my gold rope chain.
Anyways, once I returned from Japan and went to law school (feeling on top of the world with a renewed spirit of innovation and imagination), I hated it. I hated every minute of law school. It was the most conservative, constrictive, unimpressive and socially demeaning experience of my life. But, it was actually better than the experience I had actually working in large corporate law firms in the summers.
So, by the end of my senior year, I decided that I didn't want to be a lawyer anymore. It was a VERY difficult decision for me because everything I ever said I would do, I did. I was a man of GREAT integrity. So, deciding to change my mind felt like I was betraying everyone in the world - except for myself.
So, I thought long and hard about it. I decided to leave law behind, move to London, England and go back into a career of computer programming.
The thing that scared me the most was what my mother would say. I was 26 years old, but I was worried about disappointing my mother and it was hard.
So, I called a family meeting and sat everyone down in my mother's family room: my mother, stepfather, grandmother, grandfather, brothers, etc. I told them that I was not planning on taking the bar or being an attorney. I also told them that I was leaving the country in a week to get married in Africa to a British woman and moving to London, England.
Suffice it to say, they were not happy for me. After I finished speaking, my mother just said, "ummh" and walked out of the room. My stepfather and grandfather were the only ones that came up to me and told me that they were proud of me no matter what I did.
I remember what I felt when I sold all of my possessions and was sitting on the floor of my apartment in Southfield worried about what was next. I hadn't heard anything from my mother and was leaving the next day. I sat there in silence on the floor - because I had sold everything I had to pay for the move - and I came to a realization.
"In order to be successful, I have to create my own definition of success ... and achieve that."
That was the most freeing epiphany of my life. God was telling me, "you're ok. You're going to be even better." So, I got up off of the floor and Dion drove me to the airport and dropped me off and I left the United States!
In retrospect, I'm so glad that I had the strength and determination to pursue my own goals and objective. I had the opportunity to rewrite my life's plan and I did. It wasn't until I moved back to the U.S. and got my condo and my mother came to visit that she understood why I made the decision that I made. She stood in awe of all of the artwork that I had collected from all of my travels around the world and how nice and organized everything was.
I don't blame my mother for being confused, upset or even mad at me throughout the years for not becoming what she wanted me to be because I realize that that was a byproduct of her reality. Most arguments between two people stem from different realities.
My mother now has an extreme case of Alzheimer's and doesn't recognize me any more. Sometimes I think, what would my life be like if I hadn't followed my own plan and followed hers and she wasn't even there to recognize my accomplishments.
Live the life you want to lead today ... tomorrow is promised to no man!
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