BE DO HAVE

This is my new mantra that I teach to people that I come into contact with.

This is the formula for success:

BE DO HAVE

What amazes me is so many people think it is: HAVE DO BE

Let me explain this formula:

I went to speak to a group of young men at one of our local high schools recently. When I got there, like so many other times I've spoken to young people, I had nothing prepared. So, I asked the facilitator what they wanted me to speak about. We were in a very intimate setting, so they asked me to tell about myself, my background and impart some wisdom for these young men.

So, I began with a prologue of my biography and some of my travels, education, businesses, etc. Then, as I usually do, I went around the room and asked the fellas about themselves.

It took a little while for them to open up to a stranger like me but every now and then we broke down a new wall. At one point, one of the young men said, "I don't like that we live in a filthy neighborhood with trash all over the streets ... " and it started to continue, but I stopped him.

I said, "Tell me some more about that. There is trash in your streets?" He said, "Yes. It's all over, in the grass, on the street, everywhere. People just throw it on the ground and it looks horrible. I hate it!"

"Hmmm," I said. "Why don't you pick it up?" That comment was met with "aww ... you don't understand" and many of the other fellas chimed in "yah ... you're from Bloomfield Hills, it's not like that there. You don't understand."

I said, "But, I live in Pontiac right now. I've been living here for the past 7 years and I think I do understand. There is trash in the streets and lawns, correct?" "Yah ... that's right. It's all over the place. It's horrible. I wish I lived in a clean neighborhood!"

"So, why don't you pick it up?" I asked again without even a blink of the eye. They just looked at me. So I said, "hang on ... " and I jumped out of my seat and went over to the blackboard and wrote "BE DO HAVE". I told them, "This is the true formula for success." "I think you guys are thinking ... HAVE DO BE". "Do you all understand the difference?"

"Yes, yes ... we get it," they chimed in. I was kinda surprised by that because it took me almost a month to understand the formula and I have two good degrees (LOL), but I was a teenager once too, so I said, "well, let me explain it a little further."

You're thinking is kinda like this, "I want to HAVE a clean neighborhood. Then, I'll DO what it takes to keep it clean, and finally I'll BE the kind of guy that lives in a clean neighborhood."

"That's backwards," I said.

To be successful and effective, you need to start thinking like this, "I want to BE the kind of guy that cleans up my neighborhood, then I'll DO what it takes to clean it up, and finally I'll HAVE a clean neighborhood." "Now, do you understand the difference?"

They got it, but they had more to say, "We get it. But, you don't understand, if we start picking up trash, neighbors will come out and yell at us." "Or ... they will probably come out and throw more trash out after we've cleaned it up."

"That's a valid point," I agreed. But I asked, "So, does that mean that you don't do it?" "Yah, why bother?" they said.

I said understandingly, "Then, that's who you ARE. See when you work from the model HAVE DO BE, you have to wait for something to happen in order for there to be a positive change in your situation, that's a losing model because you have little or no control over that."

I went on, "The question to ask yourself is, 'who do I have to be to pick up the trash in my neighborhood?'" Once you can answer that question for yourself, you can start BEing that person, and DOing what needs to be done to HAVE what you desire to have.

I went to a lecture one time and the lecturer said, "First comes the sacrifice, then comes the reward. That's a natural law, it's not the other way around."

This understanding of the natural formula of: BE DO HAVE has changed my life. It's stopped my complaining about my environment or my situation and has rekindled a proactive spirit that encourages me to take charge and make things happen by changing myself first.

"Be the change that you want in the world." Mahatma Gandhi