Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Prenuptial Agreements
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One of the young men was asking about the Ten Commandments and how they represented an agreement with God. As a lawyer, I started to explain the nature of agreements and what is needed for an agreement to be binding under the law. You need at least 2 parties, consideration and a description of the terms.
Later in our lesson, our lesson book began a conversation about Prenuptial Agreements which I found very interesting. There was a paragraph in the book that said that if people do not enter prenuptial agreements that when one of the couple dies, that their assets may be divided up by the state.
This paragraph gave the impression that a Prenuptial Agreement is the only was to legally declare the disposition of your assets, but that is not true. Long before prenuptial agreements and even today, we have wills. A properly written and executed will can properly manage your estate and affairs after death.
That said, I found a new appreciation for prenuptual agreements. One of the other students asked the question, when do you enter this agreement? And the rest of the class answered, "Before you get married ... hence ... PRE ... nuptial." Then, we enterred into an emotion-filled discussion about whether people who are truly in love should enter into these types of legally binding agreements.
I thought about that for a while and finally stated with a new conviction, "I think that ALL couples should have a prenuptial agreement." My new understanding of the term is that this is an agreement that states the understanding of both parties as to what to expect in the relationship.
For almost three years now, LaDonna and I have had conversations about our expectations about our relationship, our friendship, our spirituality, our home life, our faithfulness, our finances and our plans for children and child-rearing. We both believe that it is important to be in agreement about these different issues in your current and future relationship before you go much further.
We think that the mistake that most people make is that they rush into relationships out of lust, love or romance and do not take the valuable time to discuss these important issues.
So, my new philosophy is that communication is key and that the prenuptial agreement - whether written or verbal - is a key component of any long-lasting marital relationship.
Thank God that we continue to learn and grow and expand our philosophies, attitudes and disciplines.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
4 Levels of Salsa Dancing
I have found over the years that there are 4 different levels of Salsa dancing:
This is the basic level. This is where we all start. There is a certain security in looking your partner directly in the eye and holding their hands to lead them through turns and other moves.
Level 2: Dancing with both partners' eyes closed holding hands
This is the next level of dancing to me. If you can close your eyes and still have enough of a connection with your partner so much so that you can lead them through turns and other variations without stepping on their toes or poking an eye out, you've made it to this level.
Level 3: Dancing with both partners' eyes open not holding hands
This is an interesting level. It requires that you first master the art of connecting with your partner before you can lead them with your intention and eye contact alone. This is highest level I've been able to master.
Level 4: Dancing with both partners' eyes closed not holding hands (Ultimate Level of Intuition and Connection)
This is the ultimate level of human connection. I continue to practice and practice my salsa dancing, conversation, and every other form of human communication trying to reach this level. There is no higher level that I know of than this.
NOTE: This is a blog about salsa dancing but this equally applies to martial arts, communication, and every other aspect of human interaction. I've learned that dancing, communication and other forms of human interaction have many characteristics in common. Moreover, if you can master one, you can master another.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Beautiful Michigan!!! ;-)
For a few weeks now, I've been reading people's Facebook statuses and having conversations with several friends and customers at Timbuktu Cafe regarding living in Michigan. So many people are totally disgusted with living in the state of Michigan.
A common mantra is, "There's nothing to do here. Michigan is sooo boring." Well, that's really not a true statement. I think that the better statement is something like, "I'm so boring or uncreative, that I can't find anything to do in Michigan."
Let me share some wisdom with you. I've lived in 4 countries and 4 U.S. states and travelled to 26 countries and over 40 U.S. states. I've never lived in or been to a place as rich, fascinating and warm as Michigan is. BUT ... you can't appreciate it unless you are (1) open-minded, (2) creative and (3) humble.
I wasn't always able to appreciate the beauty and wealth of experiences that Michigan had to offer either until I lived in and travelled to other places.
Yesterday morning, LaDonna and I were invited up to Torch Lake to visit a friend's farm that he bought 10 years ago that he has been building into a sustainable living environment. We jumped in our car and rushed up there as fast as we could to get the experience.
I thank God for LaDonna because she has the same spirit that I do which embodies: (1) open-mindedness, (2) creativity and (3) humility.
We arrived at his 80 acre property with the most incredible views of Torch Lake. For years, when people talked about Michigan's lakes and other bodies of water in Michigan, I would start to brag about how beautiful the water was in the caribbean (e.g. St. Thomas, Puerto Rico, Cuba, etc.). But, yesterday, I was humbled by how beautiful the water color was up at Torch Lake.
We expanded our context yesterday and we learned so many new things.
My friend has all kinds of natural springs and burpers, weepers, etc. on his property. LaDonna and I got to stick our hands down in the water and feel the water pressure of a natural spring source pushing up from the ground. It was amazing.
Later, our friend took us to a friend of his' house that has a greenhouse and farm on the property. His friend is a holistic healer and many other things that are just incredible. He showed us one of the most incredible greenhouses that we've ever seen. He also grows his crops using vibrations based on rods and lays. A lot of it was way over my head, but it was just incredible listening him speak about it and after a couple of trips, I think I would understand it more.
He also took us in his home and taught us some amazing things about holistic healing and probiotics. All of which was new to me.
Riding around up at Torch Lake we saw chickens, turkeys, deer (that would just stop and stare at you standing still), horses, cows, and all kinds of fish. It's an amazing place and I highly recommend it.
For lunch, my friend's girlfriend made us homemade Arnold Palmers and scrambled eggs with fresh red peppers, fresh onions and fresh mushrooms. It was the most delicious egg dish I've ever eaten.
The entire experience was totally exhilirating and I'm on a new natural high from it.
If you want more out of Michigan, BE more. Michigan may be "boring" to you because of who "you are". In order to change that feeling, you might want to change yourself.
I love Michigan. I wouldn't want to live anywhere else!
Monday, May 4, 2009
It's the Little Things
LaDonna and I are out on our 2nd road trip of 2009. The first one was to visit my godson, Savion, and his mother (one of my best friends), Sierra in Miami, and my little Spelman sister, Erin, and her daughter, Brianna.
This trip LaDonna had to display a medial research poster at a Pediatriacs Conference in Baltimore, MD, so we decided to leave the conference early and go to visit her goddaughter, Mikayla, and her mother (LaDonna's bestfriend), Nadine in Portsmouth, VA. We all left from there yesterday and are now in Jacksonville, NC near the naval base where Nadine works.
I've totally fallen in love with Mikayla - she's such a bright, shining star! And ... I just genuinely love children.
Anyways, this morning, Nadine went to work and Mikayla spent the day with us. I took her bike riding in the parking lot of their condo first, and then we went on a quick roadtrip. We were looking for a park, but found a really nice and quaint, zoo - Lynnwood Park Zoo. When we got there, it didn't look like much, but when the guy at the ticket booth started to explain everything that was in the park, he had such a passion that he excited our curiousity.
The rest of trip around the park was interesting and fun. Mikayla is 3 years old and she'll be 4 at the end of July. She really enjoyed all of the animals and was so engaged in the entire experience.
We got half way around the park and met the zookeeper and he brought out some animals for her to hold, touch, pet and feed. It was a great learning experience for her and opportunity for us to teach her.
We went around feeding animals and talking about them. Mikayla left the zoo more comfortable and familiar with the animals which was exciting for us and her.
On our way back home, we saw a sign that said, "Southern Strawberries". We decided to just turn around and go and check out the strawberry farm. So, we did. We made a U-turn and headed down the street where it said to go.
We got to the farm which wasn't very obviously labeled. Inside, we could see the strawberry fields and we could also see that they raised bees and made honey. So, we took Mikayla in fields and taught her how to pick strawberries. We picked a whole basket full and then went back to the main tent and purchased them.
I gave Mikayla $2.00 to pay the farmer and he gave me the change. While paying for the strawberries, I saw a signed photo of Dakota Fanning sitting on the counter with a few news article clippings that had Queen Latifah, Dakota Fanning and others in them.
Apparently, Queen Latifah and the rest of the crew came to this strawberry field to train on how to raise bees and make honey for the movie: Secret Lives of Bees. Can you believe that?!
It's just these little moments like this in a child's life when you decide to expose them to new things that make all of the difference.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Tortoise and the Hare
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He retells a fairytale that his rich dad used to repeatedly tell him about the tortoise and the hare. If you don't know this fairytale, the tortoise and the hare decided to run a foot race. Of course the hare started out with a jump start and was off and running. The tortoise started out slow and deliberate. (Here's the link: http://www.storyarts.org/library/aesops/stories/tortoise.html).
As the hare raced along the trail, the tortoise paced himself and just continued deliberately down it. Eventually, the hare winded himself and decided to stop and rest. Soon after he fell asleep, the tortoise came and passed him by. Finally, the tortoise finished the race before the hare and the hare couldn't believe it.
He said that Rich Dad said that many of his friends had passed him by very quickly and laughed at him at his deliberate pace. Later in life, he surpassed all of their accomplishments and accolades. He said that he was proud to be a tortoise.
I read this last week and really didn't think much of this story because as a child, I used to sit and thank of ways that I could have been the hare and still won! But, there's a deep lesson to be learned from the fairytale.
LaDonna and I left out of town and are now in Portsmouth, VA visiting her best friend, Nadine. We went to church with them at the Grove Baptist Church and they had an amazing service.
When the preacher began his sermon, he had us read scripture, 2 Samuel 23: 8-10. His message was "Stand your ground". The scripture lesson is about King David and his three soldiers and the final chapter is about one soldier that was fighting the Philippians. The Israelites gave up and ran away from the battle, but this one soldier stayed and fought and fought.
When the fight was over, his hand had cramped around his sword to the extent that he couldn't let it go. In other words, even after the fight was done, he wasn't able to hold onto anything else the way he did the tool that saved his life.
His points were:
1. Stand believing in God. Don't give up because the race is not given to
the swift or strong, but he who endures until the end.
2. Stand believing in your purpose and divine ability. If God is for you,
who can be against you. (Ephesians 6: 16-17)
3. Stand committed to reaching your goal.
Now, I couldn't ignore this message repeated to me from a totally unique source.
People used to ask me, "Why did you come back to Michigan? Why did you come back to Pontiac? Why did you start Timbuktu Cafe, now, in the middle of a recession?" The best I can tell them is that God directed me to return. He told me to continue my purpose in this life, "To teach and to spread love". What better place to do that then back in my hometown?
Also, about the tortoise and the hare. A close friend of mine asked me back in 2001 when I returned from California and was living at my mother's house and waiting for my condo to be constructed, "Sean, don't you feel sometimes like, 'I should have my BMW by now?'"
That question kinda shocked me coming from that person. I realized, "you don't know me anymore", but I didn't say. I went away and came back a different person. I went out into the world as a "hare" and they think of things like, "Getting rich quick ... getting BMW's ... etc". But, I returned from going to Morehouse College, living in Japan for 2 years, going to law school, and living in London ... a tortoise.
Also, in the year 2000, I took 18 trips! You think I couldn't have bought a BMW?!
But, what I was doing by travelling, learning foreign languages, learning to dance salsa, going away to college, living abroad, travelling to Africa and many other places was to "expand my context" and "fill it with content". Most people do not take the time to do that. I spent years experimenting, exploring, learning, and expanding until I was able to return home again - renewed.
T.S. Elliot said, "We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time."
Now, I have a strong sense of purpose of divine ability. So, I know that I'm doing what I am supposed to be doing. Moreover, just keep an eye on me if you want to see what a tortoise can accomplish if he maintains his course at his own pace - I will endure until the end.
Friday, May 1, 2009
S-U-C-C-E-S-S
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I've got an interesting story about success.
At the age of 8 years old, everyone around me started telling me, "You're so smart, you can be a doctor or a lawyer." Well, I didn't know much else because in Bloomfield Hills most of the wealthiest people were doctors and laywers. Matter of fact, in the Black community that was true. So, I made a choice, "I want to be a lawyer".
Now, if you've read my earlier posts, you know that I started programming computers when I was 6 years old. People find that hard to believe but ask around. People that knew me when I was a child will tell you that I was always tinkering around with my computer and creating.
Programming was always a hobby for me and quite frankly it's where my epiphanies started. I should revisit VISION and the importance of technology here because its important.
I grew up watching a LOT of tv. Surprised? I used to brag that 70% of what I know, I learned from TV. Now, the tv shows that I used to watch were shows like: The Love Boat, Fantasy Island, Good Times, The Jeffersons, etc.
But, some of my favorites were The Love Boat, Fantasy Island and Magnum P.I. I used to lay in bed and imagine myself on the Love Boat or Fantasy Island. I used to be able to clearly visualize myself in these situations. I would visualize myself riding around Waikiki in a Ferrari 308GTS and solving crimes!
I say this to say that what watching TV did for me was help me to change my context (or my reality). I was able to imagine different realities that were incredibly different from my own. I was also able to imagine what I would look like, feel like, act like in that reality. I think that was a powerful force of tv in the 80's.
Now, I believe that the internet has the same transforming power. It has the power to give an inner city poor school child a Harvard education or transport them to other countries and realities for free! That's impressive.
I always loved to program computers because I imagined a future where computers were part of everything. It didn't hurt that I watched shows like Star Trek, Lost in Space, Buck Rogers and Battlestar Gallactica!
Anyways, from the age of 8 (when I decided to be a lawyer) until 1999, I did everything that someone who wanted to be a lawyer was supposed to do - in school. I took every law-related or political science class. I was very passionate about being a lawyer - VERY.
In high school, we used to be riding around in the back of our friend's van drinking wine coolers and they would be like, "Sean, what's the 4th Amendment? What's the 8th Amendment?!" And, when I answered them, one of them was like, "Dang, Sean, you the 'Judge'!" Then, several people started calling me "Judge" and I even went as far as to wear a scales of justice on my gold rope chain.
Anyways, once I returned from Japan and went to law school (feeling on top of the world with a renewed spirit of innovation and imagination), I hated it. I hated every minute of law school. It was the most conservative, constrictive, unimpressive and socially demeaning experience of my life. But, it was actually better than the experience I had actually working in large corporate law firms in the summers.
So, by the end of my senior year, I decided that I didn't want to be a lawyer anymore. It was a VERY difficult decision for me because everything I ever said I would do, I did. I was a man of GREAT integrity. So, deciding to change my mind felt like I was betraying everyone in the world - except for myself.
So, I thought long and hard about it. I decided to leave law behind, move to London, England and go back into a career of computer programming.
The thing that scared me the most was what my mother would say. I was 26 years old, but I was worried about disappointing my mother and it was hard.
So, I called a family meeting and sat everyone down in my mother's family room: my mother, stepfather, grandmother, grandfather, brothers, etc. I told them that I was not planning on taking the bar or being an attorney. I also told them that I was leaving the country in a week to get married in Africa to a British woman and moving to London, England.
Suffice it to say, they were not happy for me. After I finished speaking, my mother just said, "ummh" and walked out of the room. My stepfather and grandfather were the only ones that came up to me and told me that they were proud of me no matter what I did.
I remember what I felt when I sold all of my possessions and was sitting on the floor of my apartment in Southfield worried about what was next. I hadn't heard anything from my mother and was leaving the next day. I sat there in silence on the floor - because I had sold everything I had to pay for the move - and I came to a realization.
"In order to be successful, I have to create my own definition of success ... and achieve that."
That was the most freeing epiphany of my life. God was telling me, "you're ok. You're going to be even better." So, I got up off of the floor and Dion drove me to the airport and dropped me off and I left the United States!
In retrospect, I'm so glad that I had the strength and determination to pursue my own goals and objective. I had the opportunity to rewrite my life's plan and I did. It wasn't until I moved back to the U.S. and got my condo and my mother came to visit that she understood why I made the decision that I made. She stood in awe of all of the artwork that I had collected from all of my travels around the world and how nice and organized everything was.
I don't blame my mother for being confused, upset or even mad at me throughout the years for not becoming what she wanted me to be because I realize that that was a byproduct of her reality. Most arguments between two people stem from different realities.
My mother now has an extreme case of Alzheimer's and doesn't recognize me any more. Sometimes I think, what would my life be like if I hadn't followed my own plan and followed hers and she wasn't even there to recognize my accomplishments.
Live the life you want to lead today ... tomorrow is promised to no man!
Thursday, April 30, 2009
BE DO HAVE
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This is my new mantra that I teach to people that I come into contact with.
This is the formula for success:
BE DO HAVE
What amazes me is so many people think it is: HAVE DO BE
Let me explain this formula:
I went to speak to a group of young men at one of our local high schools recently. When I got there, like so many other times I've spoken to young people, I had nothing prepared. So, I asked the facilitator what they wanted me to speak about. We were in a very intimate setting, so they asked me to tell about myself, my background and impart some wisdom for these young men.
So, I began with a prologue of my biography and some of my travels, education, businesses, etc. Then, as I usually do, I went around the room and asked the fellas about themselves.
It took a little while for them to open up to a stranger like me but every now and then we broke down a new wall. At one point, one of the young men said, "I don't like that we live in a filthy neighborhood with trash all over the streets ... " and it started to continue, but I stopped him.
I said, "Tell me some more about that. There is trash in your streets?" He said, "Yes. It's all over, in the grass, on the street, everywhere. People just throw it on the ground and it looks horrible. I hate it!"
"Hmmm," I said. "Why don't you pick it up?" That comment was met with "aww ... you don't understand" and many of the other fellas chimed in "yah ... you're from Bloomfield Hills, it's not like that there. You don't understand."
I said, "But, I live in Pontiac right now. I've been living here for the past 7 years and I think I do understand. There is trash in the streets and lawns, correct?" "Yah ... that's right. It's all over the place. It's horrible. I wish I lived in a clean neighborhood!"
"So, why don't you pick it up?" I asked again without even a blink of the eye. They just looked at me. So I said, "hang on ... " and I jumped out of my seat and went over to the blackboard and wrote "BE DO HAVE". I told them, "This is the true formula for success." "I think you guys are thinking ... HAVE DO BE". "Do you all understand the difference?"
"Yes, yes ... we get it," they chimed in. I was kinda surprised by that because it took me almost a month to understand the formula and I have two good degrees (LOL), but I was a teenager once too, so I said, "well, let me explain it a little further."
You're thinking is kinda like this, "I want to HAVE a clean neighborhood. Then, I'll DO what it takes to keep it clean, and finally I'll BE the kind of guy that lives in a clean neighborhood."
"That's backwards," I said.
To be successful and effective, you need to start thinking like this, "I want to BE the kind of guy that cleans up my neighborhood, then I'll DO what it takes to clean it up, and finally I'll HAVE a clean neighborhood." "Now, do you understand the difference?"
They got it, but they had more to say, "We get it. But, you don't understand, if we start picking up trash, neighbors will come out and yell at us." "Or ... they will probably come out and throw more trash out after we've cleaned it up."
"That's a valid point," I agreed. But I asked, "So, does that mean that you don't do it?" "Yah, why bother?" they said.
I said understandingly, "Then, that's who you ARE. See when you work from the model HAVE DO BE, you have to wait for something to happen in order for there to be a positive change in your situation, that's a losing model because you have little or no control over that."
I went on, "The question to ask yourself is, 'who do I have to be to pick up the trash in my neighborhood?'" Once you can answer that question for yourself, you can start BEing that person, and DOing what needs to be done to HAVE what you desire to have.
I went to a lecture one time and the lecturer said, "First comes the sacrifice, then comes the reward. That's a natural law, it's not the other way around."
This understanding of the natural formula of: BE DO HAVE has changed my life. It's stopped my complaining about my environment or my situation and has rekindled a proactive spirit that encourages me to take charge and make things happen by changing myself first.
"Be the change that you want in the world." Mahatma Gandhi
Learn to Reflect ... It's the Key
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I used to wonder a few years ago how it was that I had gotten to where I was and had overcome so much, but learned so many lessons of life.
I think the key is ...
REFLECTION!
REFLECTION!
In my lifetime, I've taken many roadtrips. My closest friends and family know that I've spent a couple of hundred days driving across country in my lifetime all alone.
On those trips, things have happened. For instance, once I was driving my Explorer from Michigan to Seattle, WA when my fuel pump burst and the engine started to overheat. Now, I don't remember the first time that something like this happened to me on the road, but things have happened very often.
Once, I tried to turn around a UHAUL truck with a trailer (with my car) on the back on a side road in Nevada and buried the truck up almost 2 feet deep in the sand on the shoulder on an Indian Reservation. Later in that same trip, I got a flat with a UHAUL truck.
Another time, my timing belt busted in the middle of the road and I had to coast to the next exit ramp and gas station.
The recurring theme here is ... STUFF HAPPENS. I've never stopped, buried my head in my lap and cried. I've just handled the accidents, incidents and the rest. That built a lot of independence and strength in my soul.
Moreover, when I would reach my destination in Seattle, Atlanta, Miami, Louisiana, San Francisco or whereever I was headed, something would usually happen unexpectedly there as well. I began to realize that this was God's way of speaking to me.
On the long drives back home, I would began to talk to myself after about 10 hours straight on the road. Anyone who has driven across country knows that after about 16 hours of driving, you get "loopy". Things start to blend together, you start to hear sounds, you may even begin to hear voices. I don't know what that is, but the longest straight driving session I ever had alone was on a trip to Seattle for Christmas one year.
I drove the first 33 HOURS straight!!! That's correct. I drove almost one day and a half by myself across the country in some of the worst driving conditions I've ever been in. I probably would have made it to Seattle without stopping except that the snowstorm got so bad and it was approximately 3AM and I couldn't see the road anymore. So, I pulled over on the shoulder on a mountain roads behind some semi trucks and slept in the back seat curled up in a thermal blanket.
The conversations that I began to have on these long trips would go something like: "What am I doing with my life? Why did I do that to that person? Why did I say that? What am I going to do next? Why am I here? Am I doing what I'm supposed to be doing?" and so on.
Well, at first, these were just questions to keep me entertained and conscious on the road. Then, they became reflections. I would turn off the radio and just start to listen to the answers. I would talk back and forth to myself.
My mom used to say, "Yes. I talk to myself because myself has the best answers." I think that's true. I gained so much wisdom and insight by forcing myself to reflect on my life and experiences and build and plan from that point forward.
On my last long road trip from California home after the Silicon Valley crash, I asked myself, "What's your purpose in life?" After a LOT of back and forth, I came up with "1) to teach and 2) to spread love." That was an epiphany for me! I was like, "oh ... that's right. I get that. That's me.
So, I started telling people that that are close to me: friends, family, church members, colleagues and the like. And ... it became a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I don't recommend that anyone drive across country alone for 33 hours or more to find themselves or discover their life's purpose, but I do recommend that you take time to go to the beach, have a massage, sit in silence for hours and just reflect on your life. Reflect on the mistakes that you made and the lessons you learned and possibly the lessons that you overlooked.
If you do this I guarantee will quickly be enriched!
The Power of Vision
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I consider myself a visionary. I am a visionary because I can see things that other people cannot often see like: opportunities, solutions to complex problems, patterns, relationships, etc.
As an entrepreneur, you must be a visionary in order to survive the ups and downs of the lifestyle.
For instance, I see Timbuktu Cafe filled with students, adults, parents and families all day long. I can see it filled with students working collaboratively on projects, parents checking their email and working on small business tasks, and even families playing games on the PCs and gaming consoles until the late night hours.
For the past 10 months, some days, that vision is actualized and some days it has not been. There have been days when the cafe is empty almost the entire day. What gets me through those days is the vision. I know because God has always shown me visions of the future and good or bad, they ALWAYS come true.
So, I continue to work diligently towards the goal of fulfilling my vision for Timbuktu Cafe and my other businesses and relationships. And ... I have faith in God because he is my silent business partner always. ;-)
Power of Planning ... 5 levels of people in society
In our society, there are really five levels of people: ultra poor, poor, middle class, rich and ultra rich.
What distinguishes these classes of people is their ability to plan into the future. How far you plan out will determine what class level you will ultimately belong to.
For example, the ultra poor plan day-to-day. These are people who might be homeless and trying to figure out where they will sleep that night. They might be day laborers who are just trying to find work to get food for the table that evening.
Poor people tend to plan week to week. "What am I going to do next week for housing, food, work, etc."
Middle Class people tend to focus and plan month to month. "When I get paid next month, I'm going to do XYZ." They have liabilities that require them to pay monthly such as mortgage payments, car payments, insurance premiums, utilities, etc. So, they typically set their budgets based on these revolving monthly payments.
Rich people often plan year to year. "How can I double my income over the next year. How can I plan for my taxes next year by making smart investments this year." They have a longer vision of their future than middle class and poor people, so they tend to focus on that plan year round and achieve great success.
Ultra Rich people will often plan decade to decade! This is awesome. "How can I own 30 businesses within the next 10 years. How can I be earning $10 Million per year more from my investments with the next 10 years." This type of vision is the ultimate vision. These people will ignore passing fads and immediate gratification to accomplish these long term goals.
I will admit that I am currently middle class in my socioeconomic status, but I plan like the rich and ultra rich and will definitely be a member of that class in the future.
You can be too if you just adjust the way you think, plan and strategize to create a vision for your life further into the future!
What distinguishes these classes of people is their ability to plan into the future. How far you plan out will determine what class level you will ultimately belong to.
For example, the ultra poor plan day-to-day. These are people who might be homeless and trying to figure out where they will sleep that night. They might be day laborers who are just trying to find work to get food for the table that evening.
Poor people tend to plan week to week. "What am I going to do next week for housing, food, work, etc."
Middle Class people tend to focus and plan month to month. "When I get paid next month, I'm going to do XYZ." They have liabilities that require them to pay monthly such as mortgage payments, car payments, insurance premiums, utilities, etc. So, they typically set their budgets based on these revolving monthly payments.
Rich people often plan year to year. "How can I double my income over the next year. How can I plan for my taxes next year by making smart investments this year." They have a longer vision of their future than middle class and poor people, so they tend to focus on that plan year round and achieve great success.
Ultra Rich people will often plan decade to decade! This is awesome. "How can I own 30 businesses within the next 10 years. How can I be earning $10 Million per year more from my investments with the next 10 years." This type of vision is the ultimate vision. These people will ignore passing fads and immediate gratification to accomplish these long term goals.
I will admit that I am currently middle class in my socioeconomic status, but I plan like the rich and ultra rich and will definitely be a member of that class in the future.
You can be too if you just adjust the way you think, plan and strategize to create a vision for your life further into the future!
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Alcohol ... The Most Dangerous Drug
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I've debated several times whether I would write this post, but God keeps telling me to tell the story and teach the lessons.
I feel like alcohol is the most dangerous drug in our society. I feel this because it's "socially acceptable".
For years, I was an alcoholic. I started drinking with my childhood friends around the age of 14 to "fit in" and "be cool". We used to ride around in one of our friend's van and drink anything we could get at that age which mostly consisted of: Bartel & James wine coolers and malt liquor. As we grew older, the alcohol selections grew more "sophisticated" and readily available.
Moreover, I began to sense a pattern. For years, I would go to social events for companies and even law firms that I worked with and alcohol used to be an integral part of the process. Many times, I remember being so drunk in high school that I would ride my motorcycle home from Troy and everything was a daze for me. I would get home and couldn't remember getting home. Or ... while I was riding, I would have conversations with myself that I wish my friends and people who cared for me would have had, "are you ok? Should you be driving? Do you think you should turn around and go home in the morning?"
I remember one time when I was leaving a party and my friends were following me on my motorcycle. We got to the intersection of Big Beaver and Crooks and I turned into the lefthand lane to turn left and fell over in the middle of the street with my bike on top of me. One of my friends got out of the car and came over while the others laughed, "Are you alright?" he asked. "Nope, " I said. He helped me up and I rode home. Now, that's what friends are for.
Later in life, I was at a company Christmas party in downtown San Francisco and we were drinking beers on the roof. I asked if I could take some beers home from the party and I did. This was in December of 2000 and I stuck the two beers in the glove compartment of my car and rode home.
In March 2001, I was leaving a reggae club in Alameda County, California where I had been dancing for hours and had had two beers. I got pulled over by the police about 2 blocks from the club. When they asked me for my license and registration, I reached into the glove compartment to pull out my registration and a bottle of beer fell out. I'm sure you know what happened next.
I stepped out of the car as they requested and they made me take the field sobriety tests. I passed everyone except for standing on ONE LEG for like 30 seconds. Well, I didn't think I was drunk, but I had been dancing for 5 hours straight and I can't stand on one leg for that long sober without some deep pre-stretching and yoga concentration. So, I failed 3 times in a row.
They asked me to blow into the breathalizer and I refused. I didn't know what the law was and said that I "wanted to speak to an attorney before I blew into the thing" because I didn't understand what the consequences would be if I failed that test as well. They said that was "ok" and I "didn't have to blow". They promptly arrested me for driving under the influence (DUI) because in the state of California, as in most states, refusing to take the breathalizer test is a automatic conviction for DUI. I was ignorant of that law.
So, they took me to Alameda County jail where I spent the night and was released the next morning. I went to court and made a strong and compelling argument for myself and the judge let me off with a warning and two years probation.
I left California but didn't really let the lesson of the experience sink in. I returned back to Michigan soon after that because I lost my job when Silicon Valley collapsed.
After returning to Michigan, I soon started going out salsa dancing and found myself frequenting the Volcano Grill in Southfield, MI. I was staying at my mother's house in Bloomfield Hills while my condo in Pontiac was being built. I was very new to salsa and hadn't reached a comfort level yet with the dancing or the social scene. So, often times, I would drink a few beers before trying to approach anyone to dance.
I quickly became recognizable to the bartenders, especially because I was getting so drunk - trying to get comfortable or relaxed that I would leave the club at the end of the night and leave my credit card or driver's license at the bar.
Well, one night, I was leaving from the club, drunk, and got pulled over almost 2 blocks from the Bloomfield Township Police Dept. They told me I was doing 60 in a 50 and when I took the field sobriety tests, I failed miserably because this time I was really drunk.
So, I went to court and got sentenced to 30 days in jail because of the California conviction just one year before. I went to Oakland County jail still dressed to a "T" in the only suit I owned directly from the courtroom. I had to sleep on the floor in the holding cage with 10 other guys the first night because they didn't have any mattresses available in the gym where they were holding the prisoners because of overcrowding.
The next day, I was moved to the gymnasium where they were holding about 200 men. It was extremely remiscent of a slave ship. I called my attorney and asked him to beg the judge to let me get work release because I just scored a major programming project with a new client and needed the money to pay my fines, etc.
The judge agreed and after 4-5 days, I was released on work release. Those 4-5 days gave me ALL time I needed to reflect on my life and to reevaluate it. I was given a piece of paper and a pencil and I began to write about both experiences in CA and in MI and why I began drinking and why I wanted to stop. I wrote page after page about the experience until I fleshed out the meaning for myself and the lesson.
Finally, I was moved over to the work release facility where I had to sign out each morning and I would go home to my mother's house because my office was set up in her basement and work the entire day on building this website and software application for my new client. In the evening, Monday through Friday, I had to return to the lock-down facility to complete my sentence around 6pm. ON the weekends, I was not allowed to leave because that was not part of the program.
This went on for 21 days. 21 days was all I needed to come to a realization, "I had a problem". What dawned on me was how deeply alcohol had penetrated my social fabric and how harmful it was to my future.
Soon after my release, I was ordered to attend alcohol awareness classes and submit to a daily breathalizer at the courthouse every day for 30 days. I completed that process with flying colors.
But what was most powerful for me were the alcohol-awareness classes and the definition of alcoholism and the understanding that left with from the classes and the group discussions. How do you define alcoholism? So many people think that they can define it and what they tend to actually do is create a definition that includes everyone else, but them: "When you drink alone", "when you drink when you're upset or depressed", "when you blackout or throw up", etc, etc.
The definition of alcoholism that I subscribe to now is: "Alcoholism is when every time you drink, you overdo it." It's that simple. My counselor said, "Even if you only drink once a year, but you get 'drunk as hell' or 'messed up', that's alcoholism." It's truly the inability to say, "that's enough ... I need to stop". That's what I was. I really didn't drink that frequently, but when I did, I drank to get drunk - and I did so because I thought I would have a good time when I was drunk.
So, I had served my time, was able to maintain my business clients and financial resources, but the lessons were harsh and impressionable.
When I finally moved into my condo, I had to make a decision. "Now, what kind of life are you going to lead?" I bought the condo to be a "party place". We were gonna have parties with girls, drinks, music - the whole nine. But, who did I want to be ... now? I still had the wine cooler in my office stocked with Heinnekens and a dozen bottles of Moet. Who was I going to be?
I had to decide. Am I going to throw all of that alcohol away and just keep it out of my sight? Well, that's never been my way. I feel like, "you can't conquer something, unless you confront it". So, I decided to keep the alcohol right where it was but - keep it in its place. In other words, I would never again over do it. That didn't mean I might not have a beer or some champagne, but you would nver see me drunk ... again. Moreover, I agreed with myself that I would NEVER drink and drive again.
By the way, for all of his faults, I thank God for my brother, Dion, because when I had to bring someone for my family and friends counseling session on alcoholism and how it affects relationships, he didn't hesitate, he told, "I'll be there" and he came and supported me. And ... I love him and will always appreciate him for that.
During my self-reflection in the gym of the Oakland County jail I realized why I had become an alcoholic. It was because I had formed a cycle of behavior throughout my life of compensating for feelings of alienation or discomfort by drinking until I numbed the emotions.
Whenever I would find myself in a foreign and uncomfortable environment (e.g. a new city, a new state, a new country or a club or atmostphere where I felt out of place) I would drink some liquid courage until I could blend in and feel comfortable.
Well, for me, from the age of 18 until the age of 27, I moved every year to a new city, state or country. I realized that I was stuck in a viscious cycle. Each year, I packed, moved to a new place, unpacked, sought out the local black club, went, got drunk, met some woman (drunk), started dating, sobered up, broke up and moved to the next location. It was a viscious cycle that I had to break in 2002 at the age of 29!
I returned to Michigan, planted roots and decided for myself that I would never go to another club that where I didn't feel comfortable or stay in any situation where I felt like I had to drink to remain there. So, I haven't since.
As an aside, I thnk that alcohol is the most dangerous drug in our society. Why? Because it's socially acceptable. Imagine this ... if you went over someone's house and they had 20 prescription pill bottles sitting on there kitchen counter, what would you say or silently think to yourself? "Hmmm ... I wonder what's wrong with them? I hope they're ok."
Now, imagine if you went to that same person's house, but instead of prescription pills they had a beautiful wooden cabinet stocked full of 20 different alcohol bottles of: Patron, Grey Goose, Moet, White Zinfandel, Smirnoff, Alize, Bacardi, Jack Daniels, etc, etc. What would you think or say? Not much right, but why wouldn't you think ... "hmm ... I wonder what's wrong with them? I hope they're ok."
That's the danger in my opinion. We have been socialized to believe that alcohol is some kind of social lubrication tool, but a well-developed individual has all of the natural lubrication they need to function in a highly social environment.
I wanted to relate this story here on this blog because I wanted to push the bounds of my courage. How willing am I to drop the waterline of my life and expose all of the lessons I learned in an effort to impart some wisdom.
Alcoholism and the evil repercussions of the bad decisions that I made as a result were a blessing to my life. I'm so glad that I learned those lessons so young and was able to right my wrong direction early in life before children, grandchildren and my soulmate were involved. Now, I draw strength from being able to relate the wisdom of the lesson along with many others that I've learned.
So, I hope that this personal growth of mine will have some beneficial affect on your life as well.
College ... for who?
LaDonna and I were sitting around thinking the other night and we came to the conclusion that, "we are not going to encourage our kids to go to college."
It took a huge paradigm shift for us - two learned individuals with two bachelors and graduate degrees each - to come to this new understanding.
We've been reading article after article about how high school students are becoming millionaires before they even leave high school. So, why would we encourage our kids to study hard, go to college, get a degree and get a high-paying job?
We recently read an article that said that what "college students learn in their freshman year will be obsolete by the beginning of their junior year?!" So, why would we want them to aspire to that type of paradigm.
So, we actually want them to be in that group of students that are becoming multi-millionaires before they even graduate from high school - probably middle school!
But, what does that mean? Well, here's how we see it. These high school students that are becoming entrepreneurs are not geniuses, special or gifted and talented. They are also not employees!
We still have some research to do on the premise, but we assume that they must be spending much more of their time (e.g. free time) ... thinking and being creative. The difference for these students must also be the amount of investment that their parents make in supporting those thoughts and creativity.
Well, that's what we plan to do. We plan to expose our children to as much as we possibly can. We plan to involve them in all kinds of activities where other children are thinking critically and creatively. Moreover, we plan to take them on trips around the world and support any and all of their entrepreneurial ideas.
If you read my last post, I talk about a family's largest investment being their home and second, their car. Well, that's silly to us. Our first and foremost investment of money and time will be our children.
Many times, what well-meaning middle class people do is "save for college". They put aside money - maybe between $300 - $1,000 in a college fund depending on how early they get started. Well, what tends to happen is they continue this saving process for several years (e.g. up to 18 years) with the hopes that it will be enough and have slowly accrued enough interest to pay for their college.
Well, during those 18yrs the children ask for things like: an iPod, a laptop, a computer, a trip to Europe, Asia, Africa, etc. and what do parents say? "We can't afford that!"
We don't want to follow this habit. If you think about it ... saving even $500 per month is $6,000 per year. That could be 2 quality family trips to the Carribean, Africa, Europe, Latin America or anywhere to expose your children to new paradigms, new realities, different problems and solutions throughout the world. Moreover, you could take them to New York to see a Broadway play or L.A. to see a film production studio. There are innumerable things that you could do to invest in their education TODAY. Not some time in the future.
Moreover, we plan to expose them to other business owners, entrepreneurs, and the like locally. We plan to use technology to leverage the education they receive in the traditional school system.
Those students that are becoming multi-millionaires before they graduate high school are doing so with a lot of love and support and investment from their parents. Teach them financial literacy and how to take calculate risks. Explore their creativity every day and teach them to dream BIG!
"Your success is directly proportional to the amount of time you spend doing what you do after you do what you are expected to do!"
Your Largest Investment?
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During this economic crisis, I've been listening to CNN, CNBC, Bloomberg and many others who have on their financial counselors, financial advisors, financial planners and more.
And ... there's been a mantra that I've heard them state over and over again over the years and it has always bothered me, but I didn't know why until now.
They continually say, "Your house is usually your single largest investment." Moreover, I heard Bill Ford say the other day on Larry King, "Your car is usually your second largest investment behind your house."
WOW!!! Really? Let's examine that for its significance.
What is an investment? An investment to me is something that you put into a vehicle with some expected return (e.g. to get something of more value out).
What can you put in (e.g. invest) to create your expected return? Time or money. I always tell people, the only two things you can invest are either time or money. And if you don't have the money, invest the time to educate yourself what to do when you do have the money (e.g. financial education).
But let's reexamine the statements: 1) "your house is your single largest investment" and 2) "your car is your second largest investment".
Given my definition of investment, this would translate as: 1) "you invest more time and/or money into your house than anything else" and 2) "you invest more time and/or money into your car than anything else but your house."
My confusion is this, what about "your children", "your family", "your relationships" and "your community"? Where do they fall on the scale of significance in investments of time and/or money.
It's disturbing to say the least that we don't focus more of our time and/or money on our children, but I believe it's probably true. We have a generation of children that feel detached, unengaged, neglected, unloved, unrespected and some even unwanted. But, our houses and cars keeping getting larger, nicer, more gaudy and the like.
We need a change in our priorities as far as where we invest our time and/or money. If we invested it in our children, our family, our relationships and our community, I guarantee you that they wouldn't lose over 40% of their value. It would be almost impossible to be UPSIDE DOWN in your investment into your children, family, relationships or community.
I can also guarantee you that you would see exponential returns on those investments if you prioritize them accordingly.
I hope that this financial crisis leads us back to a stronger emotional and spiritual foundation as a people and reorganizes our priorities.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Death to Books, CDs, DVDs, and Blu-Rays!
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This morning, I got to the store (Timbuktu Cafe) and Terry came in to speak to me. He said that he had been looking into investing in these red ... something ... vending machines that sell DVDs, CDs, etc. He asked me what I thought about it.
Then he was like, "you know ... because Blockbuster is going bankrupt". So, that sparked a question in my mind, "Why do you think Blockbuster is going bankrupt?" He was like, "I don't know ... why do you think?" I told him that I wondered if it was because CDs and DVDs are becoming obsolete.
He was like, "yah ... I think you're right." I told him that I saw an interview with Bill Gates a few years ago and the interviewer asked him what he thought the next advance in technology would be. He said something like, "I don't really know, but CDs, DVDs and Blu-Ray discs are on their way out!" He said it was because we really haven't advanced that technology much past vinyl discs, then laser discs, to CDs, DVDs and now Blu-Rays.
I was talking with LaDonna and we agreed that the future of entertainment will not be dependent on the media format. For example, there will probably be a universal format for movies and music and it will exist independent of the media. In other words, you will be able to just go on the internet and download "music", "movies" or "literature". You will not have to purchase physical CDs or DVDs, Blu-Rays or books.
Moreover, with the world movement towards living green and reducing our carbon footprint and conservation it will only make sense that all of this content will become digital and then be available on the world wide web.
I think it's incredible and I can't wait. I imagine a future where we'll be able to sit in our living room and have a conversation like, "Honey, what do you want to watch tonight?" "Oh, I remember this movie called, 'Less Than Zero' that I always found fascinating." "Ok. Computer, please play 'Less Than Zero' with 'Robert Downey, Jr.'" and that movie begins to play on our display. That is the future.
The world has become more of a world of convenience, instant gratification and focused on conservation. If we eliminate physical books, CDs, DVDs and Blu-Rays, we will probably be eliminating an INCREDIBLE amount of non-recyclable waste. Moreover, more people will have more access to art, music, literature and movies.
Imagine the day when you will be able to watch a live music concert streamed to your "display" ... or a live sporting event or anything that is currently charged admission.
What this could mean for the growth and exposure of young people to the richness of the world is incredible. I mean ... imagine that Prince only performs one concert a year, but now it's broadcast live around the world on the internet and people as far away as Zimbabwe can stream it for free or pay for the access.
I think that the free access to these forms of art and entertainment are going to also lower the cost of those events.
Well, "why would they do that?" you ask. Because they can reach a MUCH larger audience that way. "How would they make money, if they don't get paid off of ticket sales?" Through endorsements and vested profit-sharing in the advertisement revenues. These productions can still be branded with commercial messages and product placement, etc.
The point is ... in a capitalist society, the marketing and advertising agents will find a way to get their message across for other products.
The future is incredibly wonderful and bright! I can't wait ... let's go now!
PEACE ;-)
Monday, April 27, 2009
Sean's Reading List
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I was going to write an article about every significant book I've read, but I'm lazy sometimes. Here's a brief list and the order in which I recommend them:
1. The Four Agreements (by Don Miguel Ruiz)
This book will teach you self-confidence and attaining personal freedom. I think that this book will help you to build a solid foundation for everything else in your life.
2. The Secret
Once you have attained a certain level of self-awareness and confidence, it's time to put it to use. The Law of Attraction described in this book will help you to harness the power of positive visioning and your personal power of creation.
3. Rich Dad Poor Dad: Cashflow Quadrant (by Robert T. Kiyosaki)
After creating a foundation for attracting everything into your life that you need, you need a structure of what to do with this new wealth. This book will help to expand your context and develop your financial intelligence and literacy.
4. GOALS (by Brian Tracy)
Once you've expanded your context about what's possible, you should be ready to set some well-defined goals. This book will assist you with some strategies of how to achieve the highest heights of goal attainment.
5. 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (by Steven Covey)
This is not hardly a final read, but it's a very good guide to basic principles that will help you to lead a more highly effective lifestyle and continue to "sharpen the saw".
I hope you enjoy these life guides as much as I did. I've read hundreds of books, but I feel like these are foundational. With this foundation, if applied, you can achieve anything.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Rich Dad Poor Dad
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I thought I knew it all until I read "Rich Dad Poor Dad's Guide to Investing" by Robert T. Kiyosaki. Since the initial book, I've read almost all of Robert's books.
This first book really changed my life! It changed my reality. And that's always the first step.
In the book he describes the differences between what the Rich teach their children that the Poor & Middle Class do not. I had seen this book sitting on many peoples bookshelves and avoided reading it for a long time. But ... I'm glad that I finally did!
Context vs. Content
One of the first things that he explains is the difference between "context" and "content". Picture an empty shot glass and a large pitcher of water sitting on a table. If I picked up the pitcher and poured it into the shot glass without stopping, what would happen? Exactly!
The shot glass (its size) is your context or your "reality" or your "paradigm". The water that's poured from the pitcher into it is content. If the container (e.g. shot glass) is not large enough ("context") then it only has the capacity to receive a small amount of content.
In order to move from one class to another, poor to middle class, or middle class to rich, you must increase your context so that you have the capacity for the content that the rich need to know.
In order for LaDonna and I to "choose to be RICH", we had to expand our context or our realities. Robert has helped us do this through several stories in many of his books and exposed us to a whole new world of possibilities.
Assets vs. Liabilities One of the major differences between the poor, the middle class and the rich is the poor and middle class do not understand the difference between assets and liabilities. The middle class simply misdefine liabilities as assets. For example, most people think their house is an asset.
Rich Dad defined assets simply as "things that put money in your pocket" and liabilities that "take money out of your pocket". Put even more simply, he says, "Whether you work or not, assets feed you and liabilities eat you."
This simple difference in understanding makes the largest lifetime difference.
In order for LaDonna and I to make a plan to be RICH, we had to make a plan to acquire or create assets and avoid or limit our liabilities.
3 Types of Income
To Rich Dad, everyone needs a financial education in this day and age. You must understand the different types of income:
Earned Income - money you receive from a job
Portfolio Income - money you receive from interest on savings, stocks, bonds and other paper assets
Passive Income (my personal favorite!) - money that you receive from your money working for you (e.g. business income, rental income, etc.
LaDonna and I focus on acquiring and creating assets that give us more and more passive income so that we can work less and less and our money works harder and harder for us.
3 Types of Investors
There are three types of investors in the world:
1. Those who don't invest.
2. Those who invest not to lose.
3. Those who invest to win.
#1 is obvious, but #2 is where the majority of investors find themselves. Investing in "safe and secure" investments and basically taking the "slow bus" to wealth.
LaDonna and I are focused on:
1. Increasing our financial intelligence
2. Acquiring or creating assets
3. Learning to evaluate and manage risk
4. Investing to WIN!
3 Classes of People (poor, m.c. and rich)
Rich Dad said that you can tell what socioeconomic class a person belongs to based on their conversations:
1. Poor people - talk about other people (e.g. Michael Jordan, Puff Daddy, Lil' Wayne, Bill Gates, Oprah, etc.)
2. Middle class people - talk about things (e.g. the latest sports car, jewelry, boats, houses, etc.)
3. Rich people - talk about ideas (e.g. how can I double my income next year? How can I better manage my employees? How can I solve this problem in my community?)
LaDonna and I constantly evaluate the content of our conversations and correct ourselves when we begin to fall into the familiar topic areas of the poor and middle class.
2 Types of Money Problems
Finally, Rich Dad said something that really has stuck with both of us. "Everyone has money problems: poor people, middle class people, rich people, schools, churches, cities, states, companies, governments, everyone!" There are only two types of money problems: the problem of not enough money and the problem of too much money.
Which do you want to have?
LaDonna and I decided that we want to have the problem of too much money!
Keep reading and growing. Become a life-long learner and expand your context and your financial intelligence!
The Four Agreements
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In 2003, a friend of mine, Catherine Martinez challenged me, "Are you proud of who you are?" I answered quickly, "of course! I love who I am". Then, she suggested that I read the book, "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz.
I read the entire book and it was really good actually.
I've said for many years that none of this is new to me, it's just interesting to hear different ways of articulating the same things. I've known all of the lessons he teaches in his book for quite some time, but it was just difficult to put some of those ideals into action.
I realized, that I was very satisfied with where I was in life. I loved my life ... I LOVE IT!!!
The book suggests that you make 4 vital agreements with yourself to ensure your personal freedom:
1. Be impeccable with your words. This means that you carefully consider every word you use so that you do not "sin" with your words. In other words, you don't hurt others and/or yourself with your words.
2. Don't make assumptions. If you don't know ... ask questions. You know what ... sometimes, you learn a lot about the other person, the situation, or life period, from the time and consideration you take to form the questions themselves.
3. Don't take anything personally. I like this one. It's funny because he said to not take compliments or complaints - personally. In other words, the outside influences of other people are a result of their agreements with the world, their prejudices, and their experiences. So ... you have to reassure yourself that you know yourself and you are satisfied with that. PERIOD. Don't take their compliments as an assertion of your goodness or their criticisms as an affirmation of how bad you are. You must know you ... and trust your own heart. Don't depend on outside judgments to determine who YOU are. Only YOU can know YOU.
4. Always do your best. I believed in this, but didn't always put it into practice, but ... I started doing it more and more ... for real. I realized that when I was working, I would get a task from my partner and I did the least common demoninator to get the job done. I didn't really even push myself very much any more to show off what I could really do. So .. I pushed myself more to learn new SQL techniques and just made an extra effort to impress myself with my skills.
Anyways, I like the approach or the worldview that the Toltecs understand about life as a "dream" and a complex series of agreements that we've formed with other human beings. In other words, this is a hotel because we've agreed in large numbers to refer to this as a "hotel", or "tv", or "man" ... or "woman". We just have to pick and choose which agreements we will continue to enforce and which we will have to break in order to ensure our personal freedom.
This is another strong point because ... not all agreements are positive. And ... moreover, some are imposed and were not negotiated or agreed upon by a meeting of the minds of both parties, so ... we need to reevaluate some of the agreements that we've formed.
It touched me in some very poignant ways when I look back at my life and the wisdom I've gained. Like I always say, I know what my purpose here is. I didn't always know, but ... every since my divorce and my change of career, I realized what it was.
It's two-prong: (1) to teach and (2) to spread love. I TRULY believe that I am doing both. Moreover, I believe that I am doing my BEST at both of those things. My agreement that I've formed with myself is in spite of outside criticism or even acceptance of this stated purpose, I promise MYSELF and God, to fulfill my purpose ... DAILY.
So ... people I come into contact with ... I try to make my words impeccable (I NEVER lie), try not to make assumptions (people hate the number of questions I ask, but like India Arie said, 'I'm interested!'), I try not to take anything personally, and I do my BEST to teach and be patient (through love) until people learn from me ... to dance, enjoy/appreciate life, experience love ... etc.
To answer her question more intelligently, "I am proud of who I am; not because of where I am and what I've accomplished, but because of the path and the progress I made to reach here."
That's who I am. S-E-A-N ;-)
I highly recommend this book as a starter on your journey to personal freedom, self-confidence and respect. Thank you Catherine for loving me enough to challenge me.
Being on a Strong Team
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I've always liked playing sports since I was very young. I never tended to be the first picked or the star player since I was the smallest, youngest and least experienced amongst most of my peers.
But, over the years, I learned my secret to success with team sports: The better the team, the better I play.
Through the years, I've played several sports: basketball, volleyball and even football. When I'm on a great team, I seem to shine and you'll hear comments like, "Man, I didn't know that Sean could do that?! Where did that come from?"
I've always enjoyed playing strong with strong people around me and reaching a common goal.
On the other hand, when I've played with less experienced or skilled players, I do not have the ability to carry a weak team. Therefore, I try to avoid surrounding myself with the weakest players.
I liken this to business and investing ... don't go it alone or play on a weak team. I don't.
I am constantly trying to improve my own skills so that I can be more productive on my team, but I also like to surround myself with strong, mature, experienced people that share similar goals, visions and missions.
Third Eye Legacy
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This image to the right is the logo that I had designed for the Third Eye Legacy network. It is a combination of the ancient third eye (or all-seeing eye) to symbolize the desperate situation that I saw in our communities and what it meant for the future of our society; and the modern artistic image of "my brother's keeper" with a hand reaching down from the Third Eye to help another brother up. That logo - in essence ... is our mission statement.
The idea was simple but genius. I would start with one business and gradually form business relationships and business partners in several businesses that were vital to the community.
Each of these businesses would be connected to a common mission and vision: "To uplift and rejuvinate the Black community."
I sat on the floor until dawn with a spiral notepad and pencil and wrote out a 25-page document that detailed every detail of how this legacy would be organized, promoted and sustained.
After I showered, I sat down at my new desktop and begin typing out the handwritten instructions from God about Third Eye Legacy. After I returned home from law school that day, I began to create a website that detailed the entire business plan.
I made at least 20 copies of the plan and showed them to several of my law school colleagues, church members in Pontiac, family and friends. The response was almost universal, "That'll never work .... Black people never support each other."
Law school did wonders to destroy all of the self-confidence and strength that Morehouse College had nurtured in me, so I threw away all of my remaining copies of plan and never mentioned it in polite company again.
I left the country not long after that but couldn't let go of the vision.
After graduating from law school, I moved to London, England and started the first company in that plan, "Third Eye Technology". It was a computer programming company and I also did database development. I moved back to the states in 2000 and reformed the company here in Pontiac, MI in 2002.
I have operated under that name for 7 years now and recently formed Third Eye Legacy, LLC, Third Eye Property and the cherry on top of the entire business plan, Timbuktu Cafe!
I thank God for speaking to me while I sleep and delivering epiphany after epiphany. I'm so glad that I had the audacity to listen and do something about it all.
Blackanese (Being Black in Japan)
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I lived in a small city called Futtsu City, in the Southwest of the prefecture right off of Tokyo Bay.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Futtsu
I lived in a small fishing village in a apartment complex for union workers at the local steel plants.
Where I lived no African American person had ever lived before me. I was an English teacher working for the Ministry of Education of Japan based at the Futtsu City School Board. I rotated through 5 junior high schools: Futtsu, Amaha, Amaha Higashi, Ohnuki and one other that I can't remember, but each month I served at a different school.
I lived there from the summer of 1994 until the early summer of 1996.
After Japan, I went to University of Michigan Law School in Ann Arbor, Michigan. Soon after arriving there, I joined the Japanese Students Association (JSA). That's right, it was an organization of Japanese students and wannabies like me.
In January of 1997 and 1998, they held a conference and asked me to come speak on Martin Luther King, Jr.'s birthday and the subject was "Minorities Living in Japan". I always sat at the front of the room with a panel of a couple other people and they asked me my perspective and it is this ....
Living in Japan is very difficult for anyone who is not Japanese.
Japan is an island country with a unique culture and strong cultural identity. The reason it is difficult for foreignors to live their is because Japan is a group-centric culture. In other words, everything in the society is based on group theory and the strength and importance of the group over the individual.
If you've ever noticed, Japanese people and most other Pacific-Asian cultures introduce themselves last name first and first name last (e.g. Suzuki Toru). This is not some backwards mistake in translation, they do this purposively. They are giving honor to their family (most important and closest group) first and then representing themselves.
Well, here's where the discomfort comes in. The entire society is based on principal of maintaining peace and harmony. If you look at the Japanese flag, it's a white background with a red dot or circle (pronounced "wa"). In Japanese, the word peace is "heiwa (pronounced HEY WAH)" and literally means "balancing or maintaining the 'wa' or 'harmony'".
In order to maintain that "wa" they focus on the group and its members. So, they have groups for everything: family, school, class level (e.g. 8th grade teachers), etc. But, membership is restricted in these groups - intentionally. In order to maintain the "wa" they limited its membership to certain criteria.
I often describe these groups using VEN diagrams (e.g. a small circle - inside a larger circle). The inner circle may be "8th grade teachers" and everyone in it is an 8th grade teacher and has the same mission. The larger encompassing circle may be "Amaha Higashi Junior High School" and everyone in that including the "8th grade teachers" is directly a member of that school. The larger outer circle encompassing that might be "Futtsu City Resident" and everyone in that circle including the "Amaha Higashi school members" is a resident of Futtsu City. And so on and so on until you reach the outermost ALL-encompassing circle ... "Japanese".
This is easier to understand pictographically, but in order to be a member of the inner circles, you must first meet the criteria of the outermost circle and that's where foreignors (or "gaijin") get left out. The word, "gaijin" (or "foreignor") in Kanji literally translates to "outside person" and this explanation of the "wa" is why that distinction is made.
So, while I always understood that this is why I always felt like a "visitor" in the country and never quite felt like I belonged, it didn't make it any less painful and lonely.
On a side note, the second year that I did this forum, a young white woman in the crowd raised her hand to make a comment. She said, "I totally understand." She said, "After living in Japan, I understood what it was like to be Black in America."
After she sat back down and before the program could go forward I said, "hang on, I'd like to respond to that please ...." And they passed me the mic. I said, "I appreciate your sympathy, but living in Japan as a white person is nothing like the experience of racism in America for a black person.... For one thing, white people in Japan are just visiting or working there. If they have a hard time adjusting to the racism, prejudice or exclusion they feel, they can jump on a plane and go back home. That gives them an emotional fortitude to overcome the short term pains they might experience." I paused to let that sink in and got some nods from other black people in the crowd.
"Here in America," I continued, "the majority of us black people's ancestors were brought here by force, separated from our families, erased from our origins and made to build this country. So now, we call ourselves 'Americans' because our forefathers built this country as slaves and cheap labor. But, if we ever found ourselves so disatisfied with the land that our ancestors built, what other 'home' would we have to run home to." I paused again. "I'm sorry, it's not quite the same" and I handed the mic back to the moderator.
Finally, I love Japan. I love everything about it: the people, the music, the culture, the temples, the martial arts, the history, the food and much more. Also, in a later blog I will describe how some of the great experiences I had there changed my life, but I am often asked the question, "what was it like to be Black in Japan?" And ... I always think it's fair to give an honest answer.
For the first 1.5 years, it was miserable and lonely. But for the last 6 months, it was one of the best experiences of my life and I'm proud and glad I had the opportunity and took it!
My Morehouse Poem
Winding Down: Reflections
Morehouse, in all your luster,
you stand before me like a proud father before his mature son.
I look and I love,
watching the endless but placid
hustle and bustle of passerbys.
You are proud father; I can tell from the tears that
are dropping on the windowpane before me.
As I look down at your name embroidered across my chest and glittering atop my ring,
I feel a great deal of pride and accomplishment.
I came to you a young, foolish boy,
filled with anxiety and impertinence.
I leave you as a man,
strong, confident and dignified.
Father, many times I have stumbled, but,
you were always there to catch me before I fell.
You taught me to walk
on water and NEVER look down, father.
I have the proud strength of two thousand men, father.
The wisdom of the greatest Black men
of all time, father.
I have the fire-breathing heart of a dragon , and
the poise and dignity of a King (MLK).
"A dragon?" Yes, father.
Let those who chose to say that they are lion, be lion.
But, I am the dragon, the Great Equalizer.
A proud, black, symbol of strength, power and cunning.
My powers are endless; my heart a roaring blaze.
I can soar as high as the clouds,
only because you are
the wind beneath my wings.
Everything that glitters is not gold, father,
But you are the real thing,
Morehouse
I must go now, father, but I must say to you,
"I love you" and "Thank You."
Sean K. Johnson
(Morehouse College Class of 1994)
Morehouse, in all your luster,
you stand before me like a proud father before his mature son.
I look and I love,
watching the endless but placid
hustle and bustle of passerbys.
You are proud father; I can tell from the tears that
are dropping on the windowpane before me.
As I look down at your name embroidered across my chest and glittering atop my ring,
I feel a great deal of pride and accomplishment.
I came to you a young, foolish boy,
filled with anxiety and impertinence.
I leave you as a man,
strong, confident and dignified.
Father, many times I have stumbled, but,
you were always there to catch me before I fell.
You taught me to walk
on water and NEVER look down, father.
I have the proud strength of two thousand men, father.
The wisdom of the greatest Black men
of all time, father.
I have the fire-breathing heart of a dragon , and
the poise and dignity of a King (MLK).
"A dragon?" Yes, father.
Let those who chose to say that they are lion, be lion.
But, I am the dragon, the Great Equalizer.
A proud, black, symbol of strength, power and cunning.
My powers are endless; my heart a roaring blaze.
I can soar as high as the clouds,
only because you are
the wind beneath my wings.
Everything that glitters is not gold, father,
But you are the real thing,
Morehouse
I must go now, father, but I must say to you,
"I love you" and "Thank You."
Sean K. Johnson
(Morehouse College Class of 1994)
Morehouse Mystique (Pt. 2)
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Little by little, I started to become more and more self-confident and self-actualized at Morehouse.
I remember when I used to go up to the Financial Aid office and sit on the edge of the desk of the financial aid secretary's desk and just start chit-chatting.
I also remember when I tried to do the same thing on Mrs. Martha Banks' desk in the Computer Science Dept. She wasn't having it.
When I first arrived at Morehouse, my favorite artist was Too Short. I've always had a strong connection to music and art, so I've tried to be careful since who I listen to. But, at that time, it was Too Short and I think that there's a time and place for everything and I needed to experience that to know it wasn't my longterm preference.
Anyways, in high school, I used to wear a gold rope necklace with either a gold muscle-bound weightlifter (that I stole from some kid's bathroom counter), a gold-plated scales of justice (because my friends nicknamed me "The Judge") and sometimes a gold dollar
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSGi8u5RulXTy0wBN5LXNQKYlSTRmOSitPUpDL9Ghi-6ydIHwCdhzgmiL5pZD2orZrey7MC6udkhHFC8qg482DFmSwbnNXZKwC6Rul0KPtG9_IfioEQf9yo5LNDl_oHmrzOAY6aPQbsUM/s200/kumba_alica_and_i.jpg)
Well, I remember wearing the gold dollar sign into the Computer Science Department at Morehouse. Mrs. Banks was like, "what's that?!" I was like, "it's a dollar sign" (thinking I was cool and it was equally as cool). She was like, "Does that mean you're for sale?" I was like, "No". "Does that mean you worship money? Or you're all about money?" I was like, "yeah ... I guess it means something like that."
The one thing that I got most from Morehouse College was critical introspection. In other words,
I was finally surrounded by people who challenged my beliefs and values. I had never really thought about what the dollar sign meant until that moment. But, when I left that office, I took it off and threw it in the trash! I'm a lot of things, but I've never been all about money!
I also dated a girl in Michigan while I was going to Morehouse. I remember whenever she would come into town that I would skip classes and spend time entertaining her around Atlanta. It was college and that's what college kids do, right?
I was exceptional at mathematics at Morehouse and I owe it all to one man, Dr. Curtis Clark. I took several subjects with him including Honors Algebra, Honors Algebra II, Honors Calculas, Honors Calculus II, and Honors Trigonometry. All with Dr. Clark. Well, I wasn't just naturally great at these subjects. Dr. Clark often had office hours in the math lab where I could go and meet with him and work through complex problems and concepts that were giving me difficulties. Well, that helped me tremendously! I never had a teacher like that who offered so much attention to his students.
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Anyways, when my girlfriend would come in town to visit and skipped his class to hang out on a Friday, on Monday morning he would call me up to the front after class and be like, "Mr. Johnson, excuse me, where were you on Friday? Is Lisa in town again?" Now, that's a teacher who cares.
Morehouse College transformed me into the man that I am today. There, they encouraged me to read books I never would have read (Tar Baby, The Bluest Eye, Sula, The Invisible Man, Songs of Soloman, and many others). They also had forums where all of the students would meet in the Martin Luther King, Jr. chappel and hear a guest speaker speak. People like: Spike Lee, Bill Cosby, Maynard Jackson, John Singleton, Cornel West, and many other leaders in our community.
I've gone around the world constantly representing Morehouse because it had such a profound affect on my life! If it hadn't been for Morehouse College, Malik, Dr. Clark and Mrs. Banks, I don't know where I would be today, but I surely wouldn't be who and where I am! Thank you.
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